My dear Queen Emma,
Why on earth do you insist on swooning over the Border Collies? What do they have that I don't have? I am black and white too. I am big and strong. I am completely devoted to you. You know I would lay down my life to protect you. If I increased my Rimadyl meds, maybe I could even run with you through the tall grass. I still have one good eye and all my teeth.
And besides that -