Saturday, January 31, 2009

This Week's Review

We have had a fun week at the castle. The Duchess decided to leave the kitchen gate open for us while she went to work. It was an experiment of sorts, to see if we could be trusted to behave.
Here's how it went.
Day One: Bear got into the bathroom garbage and played with one of the Duchesses slippers in the bedroom. I, of course, was a perfect angel.

Day Two: Bear got into the bathroom garbage and brought one of the Duchesses slippers into the hallway. I, of course, was a perfect angel.

Day Three: The Duchess put the bathroom garbage can on the counter, out of reach, so Bear played with both of the Duchesses slippers. One in the hallway and one in the living room. I, of course, was a perfect angel.

Day Four: Bear got tired of the slippers today and brought a leather shoe into the the hallway. Then he tore up the Duchesses new Trailer Life RV Park Catalog and left a mess of pages all over the floor. This time we BOTH got scolded and I feared it was an end to our freedom.

Day Five: When the Duchess left for work she reminded us that this was "it". This was our last chance to redeem ourselves. And it was a constant battle, but I was able to keep Bear in line and when the Duchess got home the castle was exactly as she had left it. YAY! I think we passed the test.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

The Royal Boob Tube - Part 2

(If you are just tuning in please scroll down and read part one.)

Not wanting to make a mistake and purchase the wrong television, the Duke and Duchess started the Royal Research Project. Plasma or LCD? 720 or 1080p? 60 or 120 hz? HD, sound quality, etc… The homework was intense.

It was agreed that the study would last for several months because the funds would not be available until then. And so the dreams grew bigger as did the size of the screen.

The lure of the “after Christmas” sales proved to be too much, so off they went to do some comparison shopping. By the end of the day the choice had been made. 47” LG, 1080p, 120hz, from Video Only. The sale price was only good for “one more day”, but they held fast to their plans to wait for the funds.

On New Years Day, having nothing else to do, the Duchess wanted to go shopping (her favorite sport). She cajoled the Duke into going by promising to visit their future TV at the Video Only store. Since their last visit they had discovered that the sub-woofer on their surround sound had also suffered a melt down. Unfortunately the castle-owners claim was now closed and this item could not be added. Then, while looking over the selection of sub-woofers, the Duke reminded the Duchess that their DVD/VCR player was also on “the fritz”. Things went from bad to worse when the salesman told the Duchess about their 24 month “no interest” financing.

After about an hour the Duke and Duchess were the proud owners of a new TV (at the sale price), a new sub-woofer, a new DVD/VCR combo, and a Universal Learning Remote to make everything work. Oh yes, and a $25 cable to connect them.
Of course everything except the DVD/VCR and the cable was on back order. The Duke and Duchess were fine with this because of the original plan to wait several months.

But every day became harder for the Duke. He became obsessed with his new television that wasn’t there. The salesman said it could be a month or longer before it would arrive and the Duke was almost foaming at the mouth by the third day. He was fast on his way to becoming a salesman’s worst nightmare!

Thankfully, on January 16th the new TV arrived and the Duke proudly brought it home. Someday, hopefully in the near future, he will get his sub-woofer and remote and his life will be complete!

The Royal Boob Tube - Part 1

As mentioned last month, the Duke blew up the royal television. Ok, it wasn’t his fault but he was watching the news when it happened. Evidently (according to the man from the power company) the television shorted out and sent a spike through the wall to the end of the circuit. Of course the computer was at the end of the circuit so it blew up as well.

The Duchess was in California visiting her parents and I was sleeping in my royal bed so there were no reliable witnesses. I say this because the Duke has long complained about his television and often wished for this very thing to happen. So, I ask you, does this sound a bit “fishy” to you as it does to me? Well, the Duke is an honorable man and even though he ultimately got his wish, he was in no way to blame for how it came about.

When the Duchess arrived home she was quite dismayed to find the 35” television had been replaced with a tiny 13” screen. They made jokes about passing the binoculars but it really wasn’t too funny because the Duchess needs new glasses and couldn’t see the picture very well.

However, her worries about the TV paled in comparison to the total panic she felt about the demise of her computer. (She has very poor habits when it comes to backing up the files). Fortunately her son, Squire Daniel, saved the day and saved the hard drive. (Yes, the files are all properly backed up now and there is a UPS between the wall and the computer).

After friends suggested she file a claim on her castle-owners insurance, the Duchess reluctantly called Allstate and found she was indeed “in good hands”. So of course the Duke immediately began taking measurements. He wanted the biggest replacement television he could fit into the great hall! At long last his dreams were about to come true. And so the hunt began.

Friday, January 9, 2009

A Call to Arms

I have been remiss in my writing and I do apologize but life at the castle has been utter chaos.
After the big snow melted, the big rain came, overflowing the moat and almost washing out the drawbridge. Now the high water levels have driven the rats from the forest into the royal stables. I am constantly on patrol trying to catch the vermin. The Duke even bought traps the size of a shoebox (human man shoe size 12 – we are talking about some BIG rats!). So far they have outsmarted us but we shall persevere until the last varmint is exterminated. As for my poor Duchess, she is completely useless at times like these. She thinks she is a delicate flower, but I think she needs to grow a spine and grab a weapon! The castle is under siege, for heavens sake! CHARGE!!!

Thursday, January 1, 2009

The Bone

Happy New Year

The snow is all gone and it’s raining once again. It always rains at the castle on New Years Day. The Duchess went back to work for two and a half days and now declares she needs a vacation! Meanwhile, Bear has kept me company in the kitchen. We are planning a party for the weekend when the Duke and Duchess are out of town. They are going on a trip to visit the Grand Children. Whenever they leave the castle overnight we have a party with Lady Laura. She comes to stay with us and we always look forward to seeing her. It’s early morning now and the Duke is still sleeping. The Duchess and I are mapping out our day over kibble and coffee. This is the best time of the day. So quiet and peaceful. Today we will take all of the ornaments off of the tree and put them back in the box for another year. The Duchess has already warned me not to try to sneak any ornaments out of the box when she’s not looking. Really, sometimes she’s such a bore!
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