Friday, March 5, 2010

The Duchess is Fat - or - There is Trouble in the Castle!

This morning the Duchess woke up fat. Seriously, that is what she said. If you ask me this has been coming on for quite some time. Actually, it arrived awhile back. So this morning, when the Duchess was all up in arms (and chins) about her clothes not fitting, I tried to do something to help. I suggested to her that maybe this didn’t happen overnight, so she should not be so upset. Oops! Do you know what the evil eye is? The big, bad stink eye? Yep. That’s what I got. She told me to mind my own business and sent me outside. Can you imagine the nerve of that woman???? I was just trying to help. Well, ok. …. Maybe I was being a TINY bit sarcastic. Hehehe……

The downside of the Duchess being fat (besides her horrible disposition) is that there are no cookies to be found. No ice cream for the Duke. No fun stuff at all. Guess what that does to the Duke’s disposition???? Right! Evil eyes are firing laser beams all over the castle. I’m telling you, that is not a good atmosphere to raise a puppy in. I might have to run away from home and take Mister Higgins with me. Just kidding! If I left I would miss all the fireworks and laser beams :)

Oh yeah, and then there is this monster in our living room now. It is really messing up our play area.

I hope all this "fat" goes away soon! A Queen must live in peace!



  1. Good lukhk with that -

    Mine has learned to embrace her more to love stuffing -

    Khyra & Khousin Merdie

  2. BOL ! Good luck with that ! We have one at home just fur us too ! How 'LUCKY'! haha

  3. Oh my! Rugby HATES our monster that is in the basement. I hope it all goes away soon for your sake, Emma!! :P

  4. Hope this works well and you've your play area back as soon as possible : )

  5. Emma, tell your momma that she doesn't need that machine! All she needs to do is take you fur some long walks everyday☺

  6. Emma Rose: You need to be veeerrrry careful when talking about weight with your humans. It's a touchy topic. And, you border collie types have so much energy that you never even have to think about it. Here's an idea - suggest longer walks with you... that would turn the whole situation to your advantage!!

    Actually, I have an evil piece of indoor exercise equipment now too. It's an indoor bike but I'll only use it until my doc says that I can ride outside. It's so much more interesting out there!!!! You might even meet a bear or something!

  7. Emma Rose, be careful. We watched a Dog Whisperer where he MADE the dog walk, er, run on the treadmill. YIKES.

  8. Emma very cautious. If evil eyes and glares are going off in the Castle and you have that monster machine sitting in your play area, maybe you should kindly suggest walking! That way it will be good exercise for everybody!! That's a scary looking machine! No cookies and ice cream at all? Oh my. This is serious business! Don't run away though! Lots of love,Debbie and Holly

  9. miss emma rose!!
    one of those big machine thingies just showed up in my house on thursday evening! does this mean that the yummy treaties will soon be leaving my house, too? :(
    the booker man

  10. That is quite the treadmill!! Spring is a great time for getting motivated to exercise more. You can do it!!

  11. Emma Rose,

    That happened in our castle, too! Here's what I decided to do to help! I give Mom the doe eyes every afternoon and she takes me for a walk. I have given up sniffing every rock in an effort to move her along much faster and I hope it works! Good luck to you!


  12. Oh boy! Mine is ALWAYS on a diet and has a bike in the living room - messing with part of my play space too. Start taking mom for fast walkies uphill, then she won't need the monster anymore!
    Big Hugs xo

  13. I have machines to help with the fat too..but your machine looks very serious!! Keep an eye on the Ice Cream or cookies..we don't have any of that good stuff here either..Maybe she will wake up skinny and in a better mood some day soon:)

  14. BOL...start after breakfast like mom..BOL
    Benny & Lily

  15. Emma,

    You are most beautiful! Thank you for taking the time to say hello. We owe Mango and Dexter some bones or treats because they gave us our first and very own shout out.

    You should be nice to the monster before your momma makes YOU run on it!

    Have a great weekend!

    Wags and Woofs,
    Mack and Mia

  16. Emma,

    I woke up fat about five years ago. Tell the duchess that we can empath"size" with her. But be verrrry careful 'bout that ole 'stink-eye'. She might put you on that tread mill next!

    -Ranger, Bonnie, Brynn & Beth's momma.

  17. Maybe you could help the Duchess with portion control? Try sneaking pieces of her lunch and dinner off her plate when she isn't looking. She'll lose weight and you'll enjoy the tasty tidbits!

  18. Bwahhahahah!!! Queen Emma, you are CUTE! This was such a hilarious post! (Not snubbing your beloved Duchess or anything)

    But yeah, just tell the Duchess AND Duke some good o'queen-chasing will get them prim and pat in shape no time!

    I'm sure Mister Higgins will lurrrrve to help you out in that dept. You guys could set up a roster. Seriously. ;)


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